


They Haven't?

by quicksilverdeancas (quicksilvermalec)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016), Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Castiel Has a Crush on Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester is So In Love with Castiel, Enjoy!, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I just changed the names and revamped the dialogue to make it more in character, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm Sorry, I'm fucking amazing, M/M, Oblivious Castiel, Oblivious Dean Winchester, POV Outsider, POV Sam Winchester, Sam Ships It, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Shipper!Sam, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, angst a little, i should shut up, it's not even funny, literally a scene from ST3, short fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 10:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19990300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilvermalec/pseuds/quicksilverdeancas
Summary: “Long story short, I told them they should have sex.”“Wait – theystillhaven’t boned yet?”orIn which Dean is screaming an angel's head off, Gabriel is trying to be helpful for once, Castiel is far too easily provoked, and Sam just wants Destiel to happen.





	They Haven't?

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally just the scene from Stranger Things 3 where Joyce and Hopper and Alexei and Murray are in the car and Murray yells at Jopper to stop being idiots.
> 
> Enjoy?

Sam was on the phone with Gabriel in the backseat of the Impala. He was relaying instructions for their latest hunt – which happened to be a being that fed on people by drawing them in and killing them in a huge, creepy machine.

“What’s he saying?” Dean demanded from the driver’s seat.

“He’s telling me the location of the key to turn off the machine,” Sam replied. Gabriel must have told him something else through the phone, because he paused and then corrected himself. “Ah, sorry, _keys_. Two keys. Two-man rule.”

“Two-man rule?” Cas asked, sounding confused.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Dean mused aloud. “Two men, two keys, kinda like they do in a… nuclear launch. Multiple parties have to consent.”

“But, uh, to get to the keys, there’s a vault,” Sam informed them. “And to open the vault, you have to enter Planck’s constant – which I have committed to memory, by the way.”

“Nerd,” Dean muttered. Then, “what’s Planck’s constant?”

“It’s a very famous number,” Sam deadpanned.

“Alright, so we get the keys and then we turn the machine off,” Dean recapped for clarification.

“That’s what he says,” his brother confirmed.

“This does not sound too difficult,” Castiel piped up from shotgun.

“‘Not too difficult?’ Cas, did you miss the part where he said the place is like, an impenetrable fortress surrounded by guards?” Dean asked him incredulously.

“I’m sure there’s a way to get in, Dean,” Cas replied patiently.

“Oh, yeah, there is – the angels!” Dean exclaimed in exasperation.

“ _Who are coming_ ,” Cas insisted.

“Yeah, well, we actually don’t know that, because you yelled at them like you were at a parent-teacher conference and then you angel-hive-mind-hung-up on them, so we really don’t know what the hell’s going on right now!”

“You know what, Dean, if you can’t handle this then just turn around and drop me off.”

“What are you gonna do?” Dean scoffed. “Are you going to _walk_ back to Lawrence?”

“At this point, I will do _anything_ if it will get me away from you!” Cas shouted.

“Are you hearing this shit?” Sam muttered into his phone’s mic as his brother continued to bicker with his guardian angel. “You know what, please hold.”

“Okay, Sam,” Gabriel replied fondly and Sam set down his phone.

“Children, children, _children_!” he bellowed, cutting them off in the middle of their heated sexual-tension-fueled teenage angst fight. Dean huffed and Cas turned to look out the window.

“This _interminable_ bickering was amusing at first, but it’s getting very stale and we’ve still got a very long drive ahead of us. So why don’t you two cut the horseshit and skip to the part where you admit your latent sexual feelings for one another?

“Wooooooooooooooooooah!” Dean shouted, drawing it out as long as he could.

At the same time, Cas said, “you are highly incorrect in that regard, Sam. Dean and I do not have ‘sexual feelings’ for each other.”

“Oh, spare me spare me spare me!” Sam screamed. “Yes, yes, he’s a brute,” he told Cas, pointing at Dean. “Probably reminds you of some bad shit from Heaven or whatever and wouldn’t you like a _nice_ person to settle down with, but _admit you_ , you’re also really damn curious what he’s like in the sack.”

He rounded on his brother. _This is for your own good,_ he thought. “And you. Ha! You’re just a big manbaby who would rather act tough than admit to the fact that he has feelings because the last time you opened your heart you got hurt. Well, boo-hoo.”

He leaned far enough forward that his head was almost in between the two of theirs.

“And now, rather than admit these feelings, you’re dancing around each other with this mind-numbing and frankly boorish mating ritual. So please, for my sake, either quit your bickering, or pull over, tear off those clothes, and _get it the_ _fuck over with already_!”

Cas gasped quietly and Dean’s eyes were blown wide as well as glued to the road. Sam sat back with a deep sigh of relief at getting that off his chest. He grabbed the phone, took his boyfriend off of hold, and put the device back to his ear.

“What was that?” Gabriel asked him.

“Long story short, I told them they should have sex.”

“Wait – they _still_ haven’t boned yet?”

“ _No_!” Sam answered enthusiastically in incredulous agreement.

Gabriel snickered, and then Sam chuckled, and pretty soon they were both full-out laughing their asses off.

They didn’t stop for an hour.

**CODA:**

Later that night, at the motel they stayed at, Sam heard something that sounded suspiciously like a headboard banging against the wall Dean and Cas’ room shared with his.

He would really like to believe that they talked it out like mature adults and decided to move on into a physical relationship.

However, he knew his brother, and he knew that just the possibility of Cas having requited feelings meant he was going to hit on him _so hard_ until he got him into bed.

He sighed. He would live with the sex sounds if it meant he didn’t have to deal with all the UST.

**Author's Note:**

> I just watched the scene and it was fucking _screaming_ Destiel at me and I was like "Sam would totally be Murray" so I fucking wrote it.
> 
> Comments, Kudos, all the good things, these make me happy. 
> 
> Love,  
> -Sil


End file.
